Incredibly hard

Y.Y at church is an example of an incredibly hardworking person. After a small talk with John H, I think all of my excuses are bull shit. I could strive to be better, I want to look at my students and say to others that wow these kids from Asia are incredibly hardworking. Right now, I hardly think I am justified in that regard. I want to be hardworking, but I find everything I can do to distract myself from it. Why can’t I be better? Be like YY? I told myself cause visa issue from a 3rd world country, I cannot go to many places for conferences. They are bull shit excuses. Stop the negative thoughts in your mind! Some stuffs today:
  • Working on the reviews for exam, be responsible for the job you got pay for
  • Understand the flat holder first
  • The barrier argument, understand it
  • Write up for boundary general Hölder,
  • do write into the draft and email R.S. , it is the last chance to let him know you are working
Just understand this tiny thing took me so long, how can I call it hardworking. Need to put the task on calendar. My mind usually wanders around so much, it invented many weird, dramatic stories about how life could turn out if I do things differently, or how it could be if I am with some people, it distracts me so much. Is it my worst enemy? Life is beautiful, be appreciated!