Why bragging?

It is a sad Valentine day, it was raining and school was closed due to a shooting last night. X told me that he will sponsor my trip to China. I always feel inadequate, and this is some good news. But why? Why did I brag about it to my friends when seeing them immediately after that? That behavior does not make anybody feel any better. Why did I do that? I decided to say sorry to a friend, I need to grow, to change this behavior, why do I keep doing these pity things? The first thing I need to change is to sleep early. Remember the conservation of energy: sleep late, times and energy from other stuff will be spent here, lack of everything eventually. I am sorry. I hope I can grow, and be a better person. For now, I am full of myself. I am sorry.